Men are Men

Posted: 2011 12 15 by Chris Goforth in Authentic Man, Hardcore Christian Men, manhood, masculine, masculinity, Relationship

The world will try to tell you if you aren’t into or play sports, if you don’t hunt or kills things, if you cry or show emotion, if you don’t work with your hands, listen to certain types of music than you are not really a man or somehow less as a man.  Somehow there are these rules of what it means to be a real man and if you don’t measure up to those things than you are not the man.

I can honestly say that none of that is true.  How does what the world says – this person or that person, get to define us as men?  Who makes up these rules?  Who says you get to tell me when I am man enough.  I once heard a talk at a men’s retreat where the speaker said, if you were born with a penis, than you are a man.  It made everyone laugh, but we got his point.

God has created us all in his image, both men and women.  He gifted all of us for different things.  No one is the same and thank God, that is the case.  While we may have many similarities in common and really connect, I am glad there is not another person out there like me.  I really enjoy connecting with other guys who are different from me, it has allowed me stretch and grow and truly appreciate our differences.

We all have gifts and talents from God, we should step into those roles and fulfill them rather than run away from them.  By God’s grand design, we were meant to use our gifts to glorify him. We have the ability to do that in vast ways.  Instead of hearing about how we are less as men, it is time to start celebrating our roles as men.

Have you ever paused and gave thought to how God is using you?  As I was growing up, I was a very emotional, sensitive kid who cried a lot.  I enjoyed being indoors cooking, cleaning and organizing.  I did not hunt, I wasn’t involved in sports, and I hated working on cars.  I was made fun of and called all sorts of names growing up that were horrible and made me feel inferior to other guys I grew up with.  It left some deep wounds and scars, over time I became numb and shut off emotions.  I stopped feeling and just went about life.  I was literally scared to be around other men, because somehow I though I was less than they were.  Those little voices from guys in my past would remind me how I would never measure up.

As an adult man, I have allowed God to re-align my thinking and see myself in a very different manner.  Being sensitive and emotional has helped me to relate to my wife.  In raising four daughters, it has aided in my being able to empathize and see life from their perspective.  When they are sad or upset, I can hold them in my arms, comfort, and cry with them.  I am able to hear someone’s story, read or watch something and cry like a baby.  The older I get the more emotions I show and I have no shame in it.

I learned to cook at a young age and I can cook anything.  I enjoy baking and make all sorts of goodies for other people.  I developed the gift of hospitality, which is one of my wife’s top gifts as well.  Whenever you come to our house, you are going to be fed well and feel like you are at home with people who truly care about you.

My organizational skills have helped me to lead a very large family.  I have been recognized at work for these skill sets and been used to help others.  In a matter of minutes, I can clean up a mess and go from chaos to organization.

While I do not enjoy hunting, I enjoy being outdoors – hiking, fishing and camping.  This is where I connect best with God.  I am able to experience him more when I am in this environment.

While I hate watching sports on TV and the last thing I would ever care to do is engage in a conversation about sports. I actually enjoy playing different sports, and going to live events where I get very involved.  To be able to go to a live event and hang out with my son or other guys has been beneficial in building relationships.

My Dad used to force me to work on his semi-truck and his cars and trucks.  It was something I hated and never wanted any part of, I really didn’t like getting my hands dirty.  While I can’t tell you the intricacies of a car, I am able to work on my own vehicles, I don’t mind it at all and I also enjoy working on other projects around my house and outside.

If you create – let your creative juices explode, if you cook or bake – make delicious goodness, if you show emotion – don’t hold back.  If you hunt or fish – go and enjoy nature, if you play sports – do it like there is no tomorrow.  Whatever you do, however you act or respond – never for a moment believe or think you are less as a man.

In all of this, if you are a man and you have ever been mocked or ridiculed because they didn’t think you were a real man.  Take a step back for a moment, think about how you react, how you create, how you respond?  God created those things in you.  God has never once made a mistake.  He knew what he was doing when he created you and it’s time you as a man stand up and celebrate being God’s amazing creation.


  1. Good post Chris, wasn’t the picture I expected to see when I clicked through on the link, but I guess that’s your point after all! Your second to last paragraph sounds like a paraphrase of Romans 12:3-8, was that your inspiration for this post?

    • Actually it wasn’t my inspiration, just something I had been thinking about. But it will give me something to think about for a future post. Thanks for checking it out.

  2. Alex says:

    Great post Chris. I thank you for this.

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