In the company of good men

Posted: 2011 11 17 by Chris Goforth in Authentic Man, Biblical manhood, Challenge, Discipleship, Hardcore Christian Men, manhood, masculine, masculinity, Relationship

Growing up I barely had one or two friends.  I was not well liked and considered a social outcast.  I really wanted to fit in and be one of the guys.  Sadly, that was never a reality for me.  What happened as a result was my distancing myself from other guys and always being suspicious of their actions and becoming very negative towards most guys.  I would turn my nose up at any guy who tried to talk to me.  It was more of being aloof and almost borderline snobbish.

In college, I slowly began to let my guard down and began making friend with other guys.  It felt good to start building those relationships.  As I began developing more and more relationships, I began to have a core group of guys who enjoyed hanging out and spending time with.  As those relationships continued to build, we were able to let our guards down and really be honest and share our hearts and where we were at in our lives.  To really know and feel like those guys had my back no matter what came was life changing.

As I have grown and gotten older the importance of having a solid core group of guys in my life that I could be real, transparent and open with is something I realize I will need for the rest of my life.  It is something that is a high priority.  Being able to spend time with a group of other men helps better myself in all areas – work, family, friendships.  There are so many benefits of having this be a part of my life.

In this last year I have had guys who I had spent years building these relationships with bail on me as we changed churches and that left a painful mark on me.  The other difficult aspect to this was having to say goodbye to five of those friends because they moved away.  Honestly, it’s been gut wrenching and at times I have felt like withdrawing, going backwards and just closing myself off.  That would be easier in some ways, except it will not.  Having experienced this and been in the company of good men for so long, I know the joys of it and I am not willing to let it go.

In ways, I have not ever thought of or contemplated God has been replacing this for me.  In the past 3 months, I have begun getting this back again.  I have been fortunate to find an older man who I am walking through life with on a weekly basis.  Every other week I use Skype as a way to connect with six other guys from around the country.  This last week was one of those weeks where I got to hang out with those six guys and had amazing conversation with them.  To open up and share about what is going on in our lives feels great.  We have each other’s backs and through circumstances, we have seen it play out and found the response has been fantastic.

To be in the company of good men is something we all need.  To be able to be completely transparent, share what is really going on inside, without judgment or condemnation.  To be loved, accepted and celebrated for the person God has created you to be.  To be encouraged, pushed and challenged and no that it is all done out of a true love that only comes from God being at work in each of our lives.  For this will change and transform your very life.

If you do not have this, let me encourage and challenge you to find it.  Start having some real conversations, start by being the example, starting a change for the better.  Do not give up when it does not happen, keep pushing, keep praying for God to bring the right men into your life.  It is something that will shake you to the core.  Think about the lives of the men Jesus transformed when he did life day and night with a group of men for about 3 years.  Do you think their lives were changed forever?

  1. evocativepower says:

    I have three male friends, two I have known for 35 years, one for 15 years. But I think even they are not the right ones, because I can’t really talk to them about God and the ups and downs of my spiritual journey. So, even good lifelong friends may still not be enough and, yes, we must pray God to send the right people into our lives.

  2. Great post Chris! Thanks again for your honesty and encouragement. These relationships are hard work and frankly I think we’re just too lazy some times. It helps to have reminders and the encouragement. God bless brother!!

    • John, there’s an understatement. Yes is does take an extreme amount of work to find and build these kinds of relationships. However once you do and you experience it, at least for me, I have realized I can’t life without it and I need these in my life. I hope all men are able to find it and realize the value of it. Thanks for your support and words. Appreciate it.

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