Ecclesiastes 4:12 – A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

At some point in history, Satan whispered into the ears of men they did not need anyone else.  They could do it on their own.  Whatever they were going through, no one would understand and they would be rejected and shamed if they ever really talked about what was going on.

This way of thinking has continued over the years.  Men find it easier to stay quiet, suffer alone, and deal with what comes their way.  Privately enduring their own private hells – alone.  We hold onto our jobs, titles, money, relationships, and other things with a death grip rather than be who we really are.

This last week I got a message from a friend who had struggled with lust issues for a long period of time because of medical issues with his wife and their not being able to touch.  This was news to me and I was somewhat surprised to find this out.  This is not the first time I have experienced this.  I have had a number of friends who have confided issues surrounding lust, but other tough issues as well.   Unfortunately the majority of issues around lust/sexual purity have led them down paths they had never intended including cheating on their wives.  Sadly for some of my friends, they decided to share this information with me after the fact and when their lives were crashing down, the families they had were gone.

From the outside, everything looked picturesque – an honorable family and businessman who built a solid reputation for being honest, trustworthy, giving and serving.  They went to church, were active in their communities, and yet behind all of it they were struggling and no one knew it and they felt like they could not talk to anyone.  So they continued down the paths they were on, holding on tighter and hoping no one would ever find out what was really going on.

Men – we need each other.  We are not meant to go it alone.  We need men in our lives we can be real with, who will allow us to be fully transparent.  We need brothers who will call us out when we are being jerks, who will challenge us on our thinking.  Who will walk beside us and be there when we need them, but will not let allow us to destroy ourselves.

James 5:16 – Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

The older I get the more I realize there is nothing on earth someone has not already gone through or experienced.  All men deal with lust issues and even though it may manifest itself in various ways, at the core of it, lust is lust.  At the core of it all, we need men in our lives to walk through life.  We cannot isolate and go it alone, that road to lives being destroyed.  You can spend a majority of your life building a great reputation and in a moment, you can throw it all down the drain.  Thankfully, there is grace, forgiveness, and healing, but that one choice can affect the lives of others for a lifetime.

Men – it’s time to release the grip, let go of those things, find others you can be real and honest with and start talking about it.  Men ask those questions, do not be afraid to, if you deal with it, your brother is also, and he needs you.  I do not want to go through my life hiding and doing things that will lead me down paths of destruction.  I do not want everything I have worked hard to do be destroyed in a matter of minutes because of stupid choices.  I also want to know if I do mess up there would be brothers there for me and would walk me through the process of restoration.

So what is your choice going to be?

  1. Kevin says:

    Nice post. This is definately a hard task to accomplish. We all have some thought or idea that adds to the difficulty. The accuser of the brethren also walks right along with this making us struggle to confess to others in fear of rejection , judgment or condemnation. This makes it even harder to share or divulge this information. I went down this road and afterwards the guilt and not being able to resolve this matter, eating away at me made me very bitter. It started with me singing in the bar regularly, living the country music life, then I didn’t have a friend to keep me in line. During this time most people I knew was all about if you can score do so, party and have fun. There is a lot to this story but at first it started innocent but eventually led to lust and unfaithfulness defiling marriages. Yes we both were married and both away from our spouses. Wished I had, had some better friends back then because the path it made led to destruction of marriages and effecting children who did not understand why mom and dad are not togehter any longer. Hope this helps others to see the importance of confessing to others and to having good friends to help stop negative things before they happen.

    • Thanks for sharing your story, I appreciate your honesty. I hope you are able to find other men in your life that you can connect with and find the support you are looking for. I’m sorry for what you had to go through and I certainly will be praying for your situation.

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