I feel it’s safe to say that most men in their late teens and early 20’s feel they have it all together and the answers to all of life’s questions.  I’ve lived it, seen friends do it as well as kids who were in my Youth Group.  The world is before us, we are seeking to take care of ourselves, live life and find our place in the world.  During our 30’s we establish careers, families and hopefully learn to tone it down a bit, but not to the point the fire that burns inside of us is extinguished.

When I was younger I was an idealist.  I thought I had all the answers and I was sure I knew how things would work out.  I had an answer for everything, marriage, parenting, business, and life in general.  I did not have a relationship with my Dad as he chose to be absent in my life. The last thing I wanted was an older man trying to be a father or attempt to tell me how to do things.

In the last 3 years God has prodded me to find a mentor.  I’ve been in groups with other guys where this was a focus, talked with friends about this very topic as well as having lengthy discussions with my wife about having it become a reality in our own lives.  It’s hard for me to believe but I am now in my 40’s.  I still have the fire and passion that I had in my 20’s, but it’s changed and morphed into something different.  I see the value and importance of having older men in my life to talk with, share and glean wisdom from.  It is something I am longing for and continue to pray God will connect me with an older man who can take on that role.

I believe fully in the idea of mentoring, I believe we should have someone older than us speaking into our lives as well as having someone younger whom we can speak into their lives.  This should be a way of life and common practice.  The older I get and the more I go through life I realize the “ideals” I once held onto don’t fit into the life I live.  My idealist thoughts I once so quickly spouted off makes me realize I don’t have the answers, in fact many times the answers haven’t come easily and I have been at a loss as to what to do.  Here is a prime example of why a mentor would have been beneficial in my life.

1 Peter 5:1-5  – So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

As I was reading some passages on mentoring this one really stood out.  I see very clearly in here how proud I was for so many years.  Thinking I had all the answers I was not willing to allow an older man to speak into my life.  Now that I am older I desire it deeply and fall on my knees, being as humble as possible that God would guide me in the direction of an elderly man who can mentor me.

Do you identify with this? Do you see the need for a mentor in your life?  What do you think about the concept of having someone mentor you as well as you mentoring a younger person?

  1. Scotty says:

    First let me state I do believe there is value in mentoring. However. I have a real concern with how mentoring has strongly eclipsed discipleship within the church. The two are not the same thing, and in the church today, leaders are placing a tremendous focus on mentoring, and very little on discipleship. I don’t think the outcome has been good for the church, or individuals involved. Christ did not instruct us to go into all the world and create mentoring relationships; He instructed us to make disciples, which requires very real discipling relationships. I do find real value in mentoring, but I think that needs to come AFTER discipling. Discipleship is being taught what Jesus taught, and how to live out what He taught. Mentoring lends itself more to an older man teaching his ways to a younger … those ways may, or may not, be Christ’s ways. Therefore, I think the priority needs to be a discipling relationship before a mentoring one. I know this is not a common view, but when we look to scripture, we find discipling is the key relationship to contributing to the spiritual development of others. Just my thoughts 🙂

  2. I believe the importance of mentorship is underrated in the church today. Too often, leading our men is left up to the pastor from the pulpit on Sunday mornings; beyond that, there is little or no guidance. I believe this lack of mentorship is part of the reason so many young men leave the church and follow the world.

    My mistakes are mine to own, but I think that had I had a mentor as a teen and a young man that I wouldn’t have made such a mess of my own life before humbly returning to the cross in my 40’s. I still could use an older man as a mentor. A mentor could teach me things he has already learned, and perhaps help train me to be a mentor to someone younger than I am.

    This post hit the nail on the head. I look forward to reading more such posts. God bless!

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