I met Jim on another blog (I’ve forgotten which one or I would plug it-Jim reminded me it was Tony’s Blog). He’s a great guy who is showing men how to live a biblical life. When I got the chance to have him come visit us, I jumped on it. He’s here talking about spending time with our loved ones, building a little on what Jeremiah posted last week in “Treat Her Right”. Hope you all enjoy his words. Check out his blog and let him know we appreciate him.

~Paul

My name is Jim Foreman and I am the Pastor of Sedley Baptist Church in Sedley Virginia (Sedley is a rural farm community in Southeastern Virginia).  I have been Pastor here for going on two years in July.  I have been married to Wendy who is an amazing woman for 19 years.  I have a daughter who is turning 16 in June and a son turning 9 in June (yes, June is a big month in our house).  I have been an Associate Pastor and Youth Pastor in a couple of churches, one in Pennsylvania and one Maryland and I worked in the counseling field for over 10 years before full time ministry. I was also a medic in the Virginia Army National Guard.  I have a blog called On the Brink of Something Large.   I love to hunt and fish with my son.  I love to joke and laugh with my daughter.  I love to spend time doing anything with my wife.  To find out more about me you can go here.

TV On A Date

This past weekend I took my wife out on a date.  We went out to a movie and then on to dinner.  Now I initially wanted to just hang out this past weekend and watch the Final Four basketball games.  My wife came home on Friday night and said my son would be going to his friend’s house Saturday afternoon to spend the night and we should go out because our daughter was already away for the weekend.  When she said it I could hear the excitement in her voice.  Truth be told, I did not want to do it at all but I knew it was important to her and I also knew that once I decided to do it that it would be a great time.

Saturday afternoon I took my son to his friend’s house, I came back home and got my wife and we went out.  She had asked me when she said about going out to choose a movie and someplace to eat.  I had looked at several movies for us and choose the one I thought we would both would like.  I then choose one of her favorite places to eat.  When we finally got to the mall where the theater is – we live about 45 to 50 minutes from the closest mall/theater – I stopped at Starbucks so she could get her favorite drink.  We were really enjoying out time together and the Final Four games were a distant memory to me.

We saw the movie which we loved and then went to dinner.  We sat and talked and enjoyed our dinner and our time together.  When we were done eating and getting ready to leave, I needed to use the restroom.  That is when I saw it.  To me, I saw something both funny and terribly sad at the same time.

As I was walking to the restroom I came past a guy who was sitting in a booth with his wife.  I looked when I came out of the restroom to see if they were wearing wedding bands to make sure they were married because of what was happening.  The man was sitting in the booth with his wife and he had a portable TV in the booth with them and the rabbit ears from the TV hanging over another couple sitting in another booth.  It looked really funny but it also broke my heart.

The man was out to dinner with his wife and he was watching TV.  He had the TV turn toward himself and she really could not see it.  He was sitting there mesmerized by it and she was just slowly putting the food up to her mouth.  She looked miserable as he looked intensely at the TV.

I am by far not the perfect husband.  My intentions were not to be going out on Saturday Night but I knew several things.  I knew that time with my wife was a whole lot more important than basketball.  I knew that my wife was really looking forward to a movie and dinner with me.  I knew that I would love spending time with my wife and that it is extremely healthy for us to spend time together.  I know how blessed I am to have such an amazing woman that I want to do what I can to make her happy.

My heart breaks for this man who had to bring a TV to dinner with his wife.  To me, it appeared as though he loved basketball more than his wife.  I cannot tell you that I know all the motivations that went behind some guy carrying a portable TV into a restaurant.  I would guess that his wife did not have the best time that night, at least at the restaurant.  I would guess she did not feel too important in his life, at least at that moment.  It is really a sad thing to see.

What is point of all this?  If you are blessed with a great wife, finance, or girlfriend then treat her like the blessing that she is to you.  No matter how long you have been together, treat your wife like a true treasure.  We men need to step up and treat women the way God has intended us to treat them and that is with honor and respect.  Care about your wife, talk to her, spend time with her – make time for her if your life is busy.  There will be a time that it will be just you and her so keep connected to her so that you are not just two people living in the same house when your kids leave the home someday.

Think about this verse:  In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 NLT)

When you begin to honor her properly, talk with her, and spend time with her, you will see a real changes for the better, no matter how great your relationship.

Comments
  1. Tony Alicea says:

    This kind of stuff kills me. It’s so sad. I was at a restaurant the other day and I saw a couple that couldn’t keep they’re nose out of their smart phones. Now this wasn’t a 20-something couple. They must have been in their 60s. It was kinda funny and sad at that same time. The whole time I saw them, they were on their phones. Crazy!

    • Jim F. says:

      Tony – this guy and his wife were in their late 40’s early 50’s. It is a sad thing! So many people miss out on what is right in from which is a blessing from God for something silly. Thanks Tony.

  2. Chris says:

    That is very sad. I try and follow the principle of being present with the person I am always with, regardless if it’s with my wife or kids, a friend or co-worker. We have enough distractions in life. When it comes to your wife she should be treated as though she is treasured and valued in your actions and words at all times. To me, none of that shows her respect or as if she is valued. Great reminder, thanks for sharing.

    • Jim F. says:

      Thanks Chris. At first it struck me funny just from the look of it but then it hit me like a ton of brick of how sad it really was. To me it is always about being present with my wife and kids or whomever I am with.

  3. Paul S says:

    You know. One of the other blogs I read this week had something about being where you are. It was really good. ThatGuyKC wrote about it over at Some Wise Guy- http://www.somewiseguy.com/2011/04/3-places/

    • Jim F. says:

      I read that too and it is a really good post. Thanks for adding it to the conversation Paul.

  4. mo says:

    LOVE THIS, and love you, man! My wife and I notice stuff like that too, and it makes us sad. I’ve never seen anyone with their own TV in a restaurant, but I’ve seen people distracted on their cell phones, or the little wireless gaming devices some restaurants have, or whatever. I’ve had to check myself too…making sure I’m not getting distracted by whatever is on the TVs at the restaurant.

    Great post, and great reminder 🙂

    • Jim F. says:

      Thank Mo and love you too brother! I over time have become more and more cautious of making sure other things do not take my attention off the important (wife, kids, friends, ect.) and onto the temporary (TV, facebook, twitter, whatever).

  5. Michael says:

    Jim, this is good. I took april out yesterday afternoon. We went to our favorite new spot in town. Just the two of us…laughing like we were school kids.

    • Jim F. says:

      Love it Michael! I love just spending time with my wife and there are times we are just plain silly and it is so much fun! Keep taking April out and laughing!

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