Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Happy Thanksgiving! We hare at Hardcore Christian Men are thankful for you, our readers. I hope that you are thankful for something or someone in your life. Why don’t you let us know what you are thankful for?

So whether you are having dinner with a big family

or a small one

I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving! We will see you again soon.

On May 29th of 2009, a group of 45 Navy Seals were passing by Mike Monsoor, a sailor serving in Iraq. As they passed, Mike saw something rolling across the ground into the crowd of servicemen. He lept on top of it and it exploded, killing him, but not injuring any other the others.

In John 15:13, Jesus tells us, “No one has greater love than this – that one lays down his life for his friends.” This is the love that Mike showed for his brothers, men who he did not know, but who shared the uniform of the sailor.

John 15 shares much with the believer about abiding in Christ. We first hear about the vine and that we, as branches, must bear fruit. Christ’s direction to us in this chapter is that we love one another. This is not a direction for believers to love unbelievers, but for believers to love other believers. But with love being the english word for 4 different greek words, Agape (unconditional), Eros (romantic), Philia (friendship or brotherly), Storge (affection or familial), it is important to understand which love Jesus is talking about here. Throughout John 15, it is agape love which Jesus is using. This is the unconditional love which God shows for Jesus and for man. This is the love Christ calls us to have for our fellow believer, for our brothers in Christ.

So how do we apply this love, this unconditional support? As Mike Monsoor jumped on a grenade for his brothers, is there a grenade that you can jump on for your Christian brother? Remember this isn’t a grenade to protect the unbelievers, but to protect fellow believers. The grenades that we face are the grenades which can harm our walk with Christ. A few of the grenades I have seen in my walk are pride, convience, and passivity. Passivity is a big one for me. But how does one jump on this metephorical grenade? If your church’s youth need a leader, intead of stepping aside and hoping someone steps up, a biblical man will step up to fill the role, even if only while a better match is found. If a mission needs a strong leader, the biblical man will find a way to fill this role. The hardest passivity grenade to jump on is the one of standing up when you believe Christ is being misrepresented. To jump on this grenade, a man must be willing to stand up and proclaim Christ even though your proclaimation may bring hardship on yourself. This same grenade could be the one which you jump on by proclaiming Christ in the darkness, evangelizing to the world unceasingly.

Let’s take another look at Mike Monsoor. Jumping on that grenade cost 1 sailor his life, but in jumping, he saved the lives of at leat 45 others. He was awarded a Congressional Medal of Honor post-humously, but that wasn’t the reward that draws the most attention. At his funeral, the pallbearers carried his rosewood casket down two columns of friends, well-wishers, and family. Unknown to the rest in attendance, the 45 Navy Seals who were saved by Mike Monsoor’s sacrifice were standing in those columns. As the casket passed each of them, they plucked thier trident from thier uniform, slapped it down on the casket, and saluted, before peeling off and following the casket to the gravesite. While the casket began as a simple redwood box, by the time it arrived at it’s final resting place, the Seals had made it a gold encrusted one.

For those who don’t understand the impact of those 45 tridents, here’s a breakdown of the significance. After one completes the Basic Navy Seals Program which lasts for three weeks, and is followed by Seal Qualification Training, which is 15 more weeks of training, necessary to continue improving basic skills and to learn new tactics and techniques, required for an assignment to a Navy Seal Platoon. After successful completion, trainees are given their Naval Enlisted Code, and are awarded The Navy Seal Trident Pin. With this gold pin they are now officially Navy Seals!

With the 45 slaps that were heard around the cemetary, the Seals were naming Mike Monsoor one of thier own. They were naming him a Navy Seal. They were calling him brother. They were calling him friend.

John 15 is Jesus telling us the same thing. The reward that we recieve for abiding in Christ’s simple words of “Love one another” is that of friendship. Christ tells us that we are his friends if we follow this command. Mike Monsoor showed his love for his brothers whom he had never met. What grenade will you jump on for your friends?

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

I’ve been looking at a lot of writing recently and I’ve realized something. My viewpoint on the use of some words may have been miscommunicated. I just thought a little clarification could be used. I’m going to throw a few words out here that I believe are often misused in the Church today if we want to keep men in the pews.

Relationship- I have no issue with this word. I’ve had many relationships with many people. I have brothers who I served with and who I have met since. I have had a few romantic relationships before meeting my wife. I have an amazing relationship with my wife. I have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ.

Passion- I believe that we as humans are passionate beings. We can show passion in any activity. I passionately believe that we are failing men in the Church today.

Intimate- This is a difficult one to use in modern culture, and that is why I don’t believe it should be used in a situation with new believers or seekers in western culture.

Love- As long as we differntiate the different types of love, this is a wonderful word to use. I love my wife (passionate). I love God and Jesus (agape or unconditional). I love my parents and brother (brotherly or relational). We must make it clear which love was used in scripture (there are 4 words in scripture that we translate from Greek to the one English word, love).

Let me give a very clear example of a way I believe these words are used wrongly by the Church.

“In order to be saved, you must have an intimate and passionate relationship with Jesus Christ.”

Look at this sentence from the viewpoint of a seeker or unbeliever in western society. While I agree that this sentence is not talking about a romantic relationship, a lot of these guys were not interested in “romance” before they started seeking, they wanted a “passionate” night with a girl who didn’t mind being “intimate” without having a committed “relationship” that is shown through marriage.

Here’s another statement I’ve heard said by a pastor. You’re going to see what I am talking about.

“Ladies. You need to have a passionate relationship that you share love intimately with Jesus Christ!”

If I, a Christian man, hear a pastor say this to my wife, we are leaving this Church. I do not believe that a pastor should be using language that can easily be misunderstood as an affair or infidelity of any kind. And for the single ladies, they should not be holding up Jesus as the example that their future husband must measure up to. This sets the ladies expectations high, or even causes marriages to collapse. This is because we as men can not live up the the example set by Christ, we will have failures. He never will.

My problem is with any language that is used by western culture to identify with sex. Our culture is becoming increasingly sexual and immoral. We should not be using language in the church that could be misunderstood. We must ensure that anything we teach, anything we share, anything we imply, is clear and fully understood by all whom we speak to. That is why I am writing this. I was misunderstood. The readers thought I was saying these words shouldn’t be used, when in fact I was saying that we should not use these words as culture uses them. Let’s get the use right. Let’s stop trying to use the words to mean different things than society while using them in the same way. Lets try using the same words more creatively.

“I love Jesus Christ and have a relationship with Him. I share my life and passions with Him.”

I’m drawing a blank on how to use “intimate” right now, but I know there are non-sexual ways to use it. So now I’ve pulled out a little more depth of my theology than usual. Let me know your thoughts.

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

Every teenager cries out for it, most Christian men have anything but it, every “Bad Boy” shows it, no one can truly fully grasp it. Independence. It’s the ability to function apart from others and rely on yourself. “Bad Boys” just portray this. Think of how many of them are loners, wanderers, and rogues. These guys don’t need anyone else, but the girls fall for them left and right. Why?

As I’ve pointed out before, the “Bad Boy” shows a glimmer of something she is looking for. It’s the go it alone attitude. Too many of the guys she has dated have smothered her, clinging to her and refusing to leave her alone for a minute. She wants to be able to take a breath without you crowding her. She wants to know that you can survive without her. She wants a chance to make some decisions on her own. He gives her that chance. While he’s running around causing trouble, she is able to take a breath without being at the center of his attention.

I’ve talked a lot about guys, but lets take a moment to talk about girls. They want to be at the center of your attention, but they want you to be able to focus on other things as well. They want you to spoil them, but they want to have moments of normal life too. While women are very confusing, they are quite easy to understand as well. They want you to love them, but they also want you to love yourself. This is the independence they want in a man, and the independence that they see a flash of in the “Bad Boy.”

Independence is not the resistant to authority, stand apart from it all attitude of the “Bad Boy.” Independence as Jesus calls for, is the ability to stand apart from society and do what He directs. It is not separation from community, but a reliance on a community of Godly men, Hardcore Christian Men if you will. It is the ability to do what needs to be done, while knowing that they have your back. Most of all, it is not being the “Momma’s Boy” that so many men of today are. It is being able to succeed in what you are doing without the guidance of a mother figure, and without making your girlfriend or wife fill that role.

I remember a poem that I heard as a Boy Scout being inducted into the Order of the Arrow. The Medicine Man tells this poem to the scouts who are hoping to be selected. The poem is “Good Timber” by Douglas Malloch:

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In trees and men good timbers grow.

Being an independent man among a forest of boys is what God calls for, and what she looks for. Independence is not going at it “alone,” so much as relying on yourself and God in whatever it is you are doing. She wants to have a man who can handle himself without her, but wants you to want her to be with you. She wants you to spend time away from her doing things you love without her, and she wants you to have an opinion. Too many Christian men act like fawning fans, not independent adults. In fawning over her, they fail to speak up when they disagree, they are passive, and they don’t inspire her confidence. Are you this type of Christian man?

If you are, you are part of the reason that she goes after the “Bad Boys.” That can change though. Stand up for yourself. Show her that you are able to be a man apart from her and the crowd. Show her that you are independent. The old saying “Stand up and take it like a man,” is talking about this very thing. Be independent in what you do, and you will find she wants to spend more time doing things with you.

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

Want a passionate wife? Show her your passion in all things, and she will both expect your passion and share her own in your marriage. My last few posts have been about the girl falling for the “Bad Boy”.  And this guy is never short on  passion. When passion is mentioned, we have many different thoughts. Being guys, sex is always one of the first, and it should be, as God did create sex as a way for us to become one in marriage, and passion should be involved in that, but there are other applications to passion that we should also have.

The “Bad Boy” often shows rage, which is a form of passion. Websters dictionary gives us a few more definitions, and I’m going to focus on the last two it gives:

1:emotion 
a: plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason
b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction
c : an outbreak of anger

2: ardent affection : love
a : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept
b : sexual desire
c : an object of desire or deep interest

This is what attracts women to the “Bad Boy.” While he shows the strong emotion of rage, she sees the driving intensity in his emotion. She knows that his emotion is a driving force and will push him to desire her as it pushes his rage. This is the psychological reason, she wants someone who will passionately want her, but what about the spiritual reason?

A man who shows passion is not afraid to pursue. God gives  hunger to fill the God-shaped hole in our soul with Him. The “Bad Boy” doesn’t seek to fill that hole with God, and thus is not whole, but what women really want is a man that is whole. The pursuit of filling that hole with God is a passion that women want to see, but they want even more to see the passion for helping others to fill that hole. If you show a passion for the pursuit of God’s Kingdom, a woman feels that you will provide a strong, stable home for her in that pursuit.

Passion for life and love is another aspect that excites women. Just as men want our wives to be wild at times, our wives want to see us with desire burning in our eyes. If we don’t show them passion when we are dating, why should they expect it in marriage. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not advocating premarital sex, I’m advocating emotional energy, what some call chemistry. Show her passion, let her know that you desire her beside you in life, not just beside you in bed. Show her that a fiery spirit doesn’t just burn under black leather.

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

Yesterday I talked about the “Bad Boy” and the qualities that attract women to him. I encouraged you to consider your own qualities and if you shared anything in common with the “Bad Boy.” I’d be curious to know what each of you thought, but that’s for another time. Today we are going to talk about power.

Power is an interesting thing. It’s hard to define, as we all seem to have different definitions of it. As Christians, we recognize that God has infinite power, but what does that mean? Does that mean he can lift anything? Does that mean he can control anything? Does that mean he is limitless? The answer is yes, to all three of those questions and more. So how can man possess power?

In creating man in His image, God has bestowed some power on us through creation. This power is muscular. Many of the “Bad Boy” types we despise have this power, but many of you have it as well. “Bad Boys” have learned to harness their strength, have you? I’m not saying we all need to be muscle bound giants, but I am saying that we need to be willing to use the muscles God has given us to do more than just move. Last night, I was talking with Laura (my wife) about this and she mentioned that I could pick up heavy things and that has expanded her possibilities so much. This is the kind of thing that women like. They like to know that their husbands can handle things they cannot.

This brings me to my next point, power is not always physical strength. I’m not sure who the first person to figure out the lever was, but that person multiplied a man’s strength exponentially. This person showed power in multiplying man’s strength. The power he showed was the power of his mind. Through using his mind, he was able to do far more than he could using only his physical strength. The power of intelligence is another power God has given us through creation. You can look around you and see that some of the Christians you know are not very bright, and some of them are brilliant. You will also notice that some of the “Bad Boys” are brilliant, and some seem to have a box of rocks upstairs. God has given us different levels of intelligence for a reason, but are you ready to find out? God’s gifts are given for you to fill a part in His plan. Intelligence is one of these gifts. Make sure you are using it to increase your ability to bring Him glory.

The third power that man possesses is the power of spiritual gifting. God has gifted each of His followers with spiritual gifts. These gifts give us a power that the “Bad Boys” can never have. What is your gifting? Has God given you gifting in leadership? Or maybe mercy? What about administration? All of these and more are strengths that God gives us, and skill in these is attractive to women. A Christian woman wants to see that a man uses what is given to him to further the Kingdom. This is an area that can never be filled by the “Bad Boy.”

Show her your power. Let her see that you are using God’s gifting to you to further His Kingdom, not your own. She her you will use your abilities to protect her, even when you don’t think you can.

Are you using your power?

Or letting it go to waste?

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

Black Hats, Black Leather, Boots, Piercings, Tattoos, and Tough Attitudes. You know the guy I’m talking about. The one that is always causing trouble and treating her like crap. The one that smokes, rides the Harley, cusses and doesn’t respect authority. He’s also always got the girl. Sure, she’s your friend, but she’s more than friends with him. Why aren’t any interested in you like that? Why does the “Bad Boy” always get the girl?

This is the beginning of a series on dating.  A few weeks ago, one of our regular readers asked for us to talk about relationships. Well, here’s the first step. I feel that we have talked about things that effect relationships greatly. If you are a single guy who is wondering about this topic but is still facing the struggles we have talked about, focus on those first, or you’re just setting yourself and the girl up for disappointment. If you are still dealing with them, but have started the process, then you can think about moving forward.

Let’s look a little more in depth at the “Bad Boy” type. He’s the biker, the cowboy, the soldier. His life is one of power, rage, and resistance. He’s always drinking, and he’s always fighting. He laughs at guys like you as he comes and picks up the girl, leaving you standing alone and wondering what happened. He’s a jerk. He’s using her. He doesn’t really care about her. Why does she fall for him?

Prince Charming?

Black Knight

She falls for him because he’s the closest she can find to what she really wants. She’s looking for that Prince Charming…and she get’s the Black Knight. There are psychological reasons and cultural reasons we have to consider. I mentioned above that he lives a life of power, rage, and resistance. Another way to see those characteristics is strength, passion, and independence. These things are what attract a woman. A woman wants you to have strength to defend yourself and her. You can only do this with the power that God gave you. The power you have hidden in your pursuit of being “nice.” She wants you to have passion for life and for her, but for God first. At least the rage of the “Bad Boy” shows passion for something. What shows your passion? Most of all she wants you to be independent. I’m not talking about running of at the drop of a hat, but I am talking about wanting you to have a life of your own. She wants to know that you want to be with her, but that you also have other things to spend your time on.

I’m going to go more in depth on these over the next week or so, but let me leave you thinking on this… What characteristics of the “Bad Boy” do you have? Do you have any at all?

Every man faces the same sin (and I’m not talking about lust):  passivity. This is one of the sins that is considered a man’s sin. I’m not saying there aren’t passive women, but every man deals with it from time to time. I have heard men claim that they don’t have passive natures, and many of us don’t have an outwardly passive one, but all of us have some passivity at our core. You may be a hard-charging go-getter or an easy-going bum, we all have it in us to let things happen without our involvement. I truly learned about this nature in a recent study on biblical manhood.

What is a passive nature?

Websters Dictionary gives us several definitions, but this seems to be the best for this message: tending not to take an active or dominant part.

A passive nature is one that does not take an active role in decisions or actions. Often this is a person who submits to another person’s will simply because it is easier than figuring out what to do or taking responsibility themselves. I’ve talked about submission before, but this is a different kind of submission, this is not submission to authority as can be directed by scripture, but it is submission to another out of ease regardless of the consequences. Another view of passive nature is passive aggressiveness. This is the nature of supporting someone to their face while stabbing them in the back. This is the person who will leave a note griping about people using something of theirs and then act like it’s perfectly fine if you use it. Passive aggressive people do everything they can to avoid direct conflict, but stir the fire incessantly anonymously.

There are different levels of this extending from laziness to passive aggressiveness. Here is a blog I found on passive natures. Here are several more entries I found through a simple Google search for “passive nature”. Spend a little time reading others’ ideas on this to get a good feel for what a passive nature truly is and how to identify it in yourself.

Scriptural support

This nature is first seen in Genesis. It was always taught to me that the serpent seduced Eve with the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and that she then brought it to Adam. However, if you read the passage closer you notice a few things. Genesis 3:1-6 gives us a different picture that what you may have learned in Sunday school:

“Now the serpent was more shrewd than any of the wild animals that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Is it really true that God said, ‘You must not eat from any tree of the orchard’?”  The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit from the trees of the orchard; but concerning the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the orchard God said, ‘You must not eat from it, and you must not touch it,  or else you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “Surely you will not die,   for God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will open and you will be like divine beings who know good and evil.” 

When the woman saw that the tree produced fruit that was good for food,was attractive to the eye, and was desirable for making one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some of it to her husband who was with her, and he ate it.”

Read that passage again, ignoring what you already know about the story. What do you find? Let me highlight the points.

  • The serpent was shrewd.
  • The serpent spoke with Eve and lied about the fruit of the tree.
  • Eve saw the fruit was good and visually pleasing.
  • Eve ate of the fruit.
  • Eve gave some to Adam.
  • Adam ate of the fruit.

You’ll notice, there is no mention of Eve traveling to find Adam, only that she gave him the fruit. In fact, looking even closer you’ll notice that in the last verse of this passage, it reads “her husband who was with her.” Adam was there when the serpent was talking to Eve, not somewhere else.

Also, reading the chapters leading up to the fall, you will not find a place where God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree, but you will find in Genesis 2:17 that Adam was told. Let me stress that, Adam was told, not Adam and Eve. When they were discovered by God, Adam did not stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Remember Adam was told not to eat from the tree. Adam stood by while Eve ate from the tree –after he had told her God’s command. Adam took the fruit from Eve when she did not die and had some himself. And last but not least, in Genesis 3:12, Adam passed the buck. Instead of manning up and taking responsibility when asked by God, Adam points fingers and blames Eve. He says “The woman you gave me.” Not only is he pointing the finger at Eve, he is pointed the finger at God, as He gave Eve to Adam.

Have you ever redirected the blame to someone else? You know what I’m talking about. That project that you were put in charge of and then fell apart because so-and-so didn’t do what they were supposed to. When the boss came calling you placed the blame on that person, even though you were the one leading the project. This is the same thing. It is a passive attitude, instead of going to that person to motivate and get the job done, you pointed the blame and sat back and watched the fireworks. This is what Adam did and this is what we as men still do.

Genesis 3:17-19 gives us a picture of the punishment doled out by God on Adam. God’s reason for the punishment is clear. It is not because Adam ate from the tree; it is because Adam ate from the tree after Eve told him to and God told him not to. In passively obeying his wife, Adam disobeyed God. The punishment is for this disobedience. The scripture actually reads, “Because you obeyed your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it.’”

Application

So what can we do about this? As men, it’s easy to step aside and let someone else take the blame, or just sit back awhile others do the work. Is this what we should do? Not according to the message in Genesis 3. In Genesis 3:16, God tells the Eve, “You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.” God tells Eve that she will desire control (the woman’s side of the sin), but will be dominated by Adam. This is a clear statement to me that we as men cannot allow women to dominate us. If we are passive, then we are allowing her control to be dominant. I’m not saying we should expect or demand subservience from her, but that we cannot let her be the controller that she desires to be.

Take a look at your life. When have you sat back and just let things happen? When have you stood aside while another messed up, knowing that it was not only your responsibility, but your duty to stop them? When have you set someone else up for failure, or shifted the blame? These are the things we as men must avoid. We aren’t called to be tyrants, we are called to be leaders. Leadership is not a passive thing. Leadership is not a lazy thing. Leaders take responsibility on themselves. Leaders accept the blame and work through it, succeeding where others fail.

Are you ready to be a leader? Set aside the passivity and take the mantle of leadership as a man of God. You’ll be amazed at the success He gives you.

Until the Whole World Knows,

Paul

As this is my first post on this blog, or any blog for a while at least, I have decided to keep it simple.  I do appreciate Chris’ post from earlier today because it goes right along with what I have here.  If you would like to see some background info on me, you can find it here.

A Manly Pastime

There are many activities and characteristics that are generally associated with men and manliness, most of which don’t have anything to do with being a man.  Things like sports, drinking beer, fixing things, being into fast cars, driving a truck, crying, hunting, providing for the family, not crying, taking out the trash, mowing the yard, and so on.  Some of these things apply to me, some do not, the point is that none of them matter.  I could tell you all kinds of ideas and philosophies about what it really means to be a man, many of which can be found on this website, and alot of it is true.

I will tell you a story that falls into my idea of what it means to be a man.  This afternoon I was looking at something online while my wife was catching up on some things she was behind on.  At one point she started to ask me to help her with something and then stopped.  I put my laptop down and helped her anyway.  As I was thinking of something to write in my first post it occurred to me, this is part of what it means to be a man, helping my wife with something, something very small, even though she didn’t really ask.  You’ll probably see some more in depth philosophy from me later, but I thought this simple thing spoke to the heart of the matter.

I met Jim on another blog (I’ve forgotten which one or I would plug it-Jim reminded me it was Tony’s Blog). He’s a great guy who is showing men how to live a biblical life. When I got the chance to have him come visit us, I jumped on it. He’s here talking about spending time with our loved ones, building a little on what Jeremiah posted last week in “Treat Her Right”. Hope you all enjoy his words. Check out his blog and let him know we appreciate him.

~Paul

My name is Jim Foreman and I am the Pastor of Sedley Baptist Church in Sedley Virginia (Sedley is a rural farm community in Southeastern Virginia).  I have been Pastor here for going on two years in July.  I have been married to Wendy who is an amazing woman for 19 years.  I have a daughter who is turning 16 in June and a son turning 9 in June (yes, June is a big month in our house).  I have been an Associate Pastor and Youth Pastor in a couple of churches, one in Pennsylvania and one Maryland and I worked in the counseling field for over 10 years before full time ministry. I was also a medic in the Virginia Army National Guard.  I have a blog called On the Brink of Something Large.   I love to hunt and fish with my son.  I love to joke and laugh with my daughter.  I love to spend time doing anything with my wife.  To find out more about me you can go here.

TV On A Date

This past weekend I took my wife out on a date.  We went out to a movie and then on to dinner.  Now I initially wanted to just hang out this past weekend and watch the Final Four basketball games.  My wife came home on Friday night and said my son would be going to his friend’s house Saturday afternoon to spend the night and we should go out because our daughter was already away for the weekend.  When she said it I could hear the excitement in her voice.  Truth be told, I did not want to do it at all but I knew it was important to her and I also knew that once I decided to do it that it would be a great time.

Saturday afternoon I took my son to his friend’s house, I came back home and got my wife and we went out.  She had asked me when she said about going out to choose a movie and someplace to eat.  I had looked at several movies for us and choose the one I thought we would both would like.  I then choose one of her favorite places to eat.  When we finally got to the mall where the theater is – we live about 45 to 50 minutes from the closest mall/theater – I stopped at Starbucks so she could get her favorite drink.  We were really enjoying out time together and the Final Four games were a distant memory to me.

We saw the movie which we loved and then went to dinner.  We sat and talked and enjoyed our dinner and our time together.  When we were done eating and getting ready to leave, I needed to use the restroom.  That is when I saw it.  To me, I saw something both funny and terribly sad at the same time.

As I was walking to the restroom I came past a guy who was sitting in a booth with his wife.  I looked when I came out of the restroom to see if they were wearing wedding bands to make sure they were married because of what was happening.  The man was sitting in the booth with his wife and he had a portable TV in the booth with them and the rabbit ears from the TV hanging over another couple sitting in another booth.  It looked really funny but it also broke my heart.

The man was out to dinner with his wife and he was watching TV.  He had the TV turn toward himself and she really could not see it.  He was sitting there mesmerized by it and she was just slowly putting the food up to her mouth.  She looked miserable as he looked intensely at the TV.

I am by far not the perfect husband.  My intentions were not to be going out on Saturday Night but I knew several things.  I knew that time with my wife was a whole lot more important than basketball.  I knew that my wife was really looking forward to a movie and dinner with me.  I knew that I would love spending time with my wife and that it is extremely healthy for us to spend time together.  I know how blessed I am to have such an amazing woman that I want to do what I can to make her happy.

My heart breaks for this man who had to bring a TV to dinner with his wife.  To me, it appeared as though he loved basketball more than his wife.  I cannot tell you that I know all the motivations that went behind some guy carrying a portable TV into a restaurant.  I would guess that his wife did not have the best time that night, at least at the restaurant.  I would guess she did not feel too important in his life, at least at that moment.  It is really a sad thing to see.

What is point of all this?  If you are blessed with a great wife, finance, or girlfriend then treat her like the blessing that she is to you.  No matter how long you have been together, treat your wife like a true treasure.  We men need to step up and treat women the way God has intended us to treat them and that is with honor and respect.  Care about your wife, talk to her, spend time with her – make time for her if your life is busy.  There will be a time that it will be just you and her so keep connected to her so that you are not just two people living in the same house when your kids leave the home someday.

Think about this verse:  In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 NLT)

When you begin to honor her properly, talk with her, and spend time with her, you will see a real changes for the better, no matter how great your relationship.